Imagine that it’s summer, and kids across America are running makeshift lemonade stands, as they have since 1898. Imagine you’re a cop and had a report of some kids running a (gasp!) unlicensed lemonade stand. What would you do?
One would hope that you’d have the decency to give a stern lecture to the person who complained, about not wasting police time and, more importantly, not sucking all the joy out of the world. And perhaps head straight to the lemonade stand and buy a glass.
Sadly, not everyone has passed Basic Humanity 101. Every summer, officious officials shut down lemonade stands. (At other times of year, they threaten Girl Scouts with arrest for selling cookies.)
This year’s a little different. Country Time Lemonade has started a “Legal-Ade” program to pay any permit fees or fines that kids encounter when celebrating the traditional American lemonade stand: up to $300 per stand. Good for them!
I’m not sure whether they’re also alerting the local press to every single report of lemonade-stand bullying, (good headline, don’t you think?) but I’ll bet they are. It’s an irresistible story. Imagine it: the makeshift lemonade stand, the heartless officials, the kids trying not to cry, the indignant neighborhood. It has everything.
(This problem shouldn’t even exist. Anyone who has enough money to buy a glass of lemonade knows enough about basic food preparation to assess the risks of child-made lemonade at a glance. We’re talking about an elementary-school level of biosecurity knowledge here.)
So congratulations, Country Time!